Tonight I can't sleep because I feel like today I let me kids down and the worst part of all is that I am now just realizing that I do this all of the time.
Why is it that we FORCE our little children to share? We think "its just a toy its no big deal" but do we ever stop to look at things from a childrens point of view? To them IT IS A BIG DEAL. To them its not "just a toy".
Do adults share? When you buy a new laptop, car, bike, or anything you really wanted do you let all your friends "play" with it. NO, we don't share things that are important to us maybe with our immediate family but not with everyone. And as adults that is perfectly exceptable most of the time we wouldn't even ask to take someones car, computer, etc. but when our kids have a new toy we demand that they share it with everyone.
Okay yes, our kids have to learn how to share expecially in our own homes with there siblings or when they are at church or Grandma's house and they are playing with a
community toy but why do we FORCE them to share something that is special to them.
Tonight Jamie got a new bike (well an old one but new to her) and we
forced her to share. Why? Why can't she have something special that she doesn't have to share with everyone? So instead of standing up for my own child I got after her for not sharing her toys. And I'll tell you why I think we all do this, get after our kids for not sharing, it is so that the other parents around us will think that we are good parents and are teaching our kids the things that everyone thinks we should. WELL, I AM GOING TO BE A BAD PARENT FROM NOW ON. I'm not going to make my kids do this anymore.
I once heard a story that goes like this. A child gets a balloon and it is big and beautiful and they think it is the greatest thing ever but accidently the child lets go of the string and the balloon floats way. The child starts to cry and the parent says don't cry it's just a balloon. So then someone takes the parents wallet and throws it into the water. The parent gets mad but that person says don't get mad its just a wallet.
I think sometimes we forget the things that are important to little kids. We think it's just a toy you have to share even if that makes you cry. But what if someone took your wallet and used your money, maybe our kids think, it's just money what's the big deal.
Now I haven't lost my mind I know I still have to teach my kids to share but I am going to do it differently from now on. I am going to have my kids put up any toys that they don't want to share before their friends come over AND I'm going to take my kids side once in awhile and worry less about what others might think of me if I do.
Our kids are young and still learning yet we expect so much perfection from them, EXPECIALLY when other parents are watching.
I know most of you don't look at blogs as much anymore but when you do finally read this I would like to know what some of you think, that is if you agree in any way. If you think I have totally lost my mind and that my kids will turn into the "mean" kids on the block, well I don't care and I don't want to hear it but I have a feeling that some of you get what I am saying. So lets say it together, MY KID DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO SHARE EVERYTHING.
Elder Hales recently came to our Stake Conference, it was amazing but that is an intirely different post, anyway he talked for a moment on judging others. He said how bad we are about judging others and how we have no idea what it is like in another persons shoes. I think we are expecially horrible about judging each others when it comes to parenting. I am sorry that I have been a part of this. So please don't judge me about this post. If you agree great, if you don't that's fine to.